Christ > "Mr. Right"

Recently, there have been marriages, engagements, and new relationships everywhere. I feel like every day there is another person I know that is getting engaged or having a baby. It's very exciting but also makes you question where God is taking your life. 

I recently wrote a blog post a few months back about writing and journaling to Mr. Right. Since then, I have struggled a little more than usual about what God has planned for me. Honestly, I haven't been journaling & writing letters to him anymore because sometimes I really wonder if there will be a Mr. Right. I feel like right now college is such a hard placed in life to try and find your soulmate. On campus, there are potential guys everywhere, walking around, in your classes, or in line behind you at the UC. But none of them have the same goals as I do. It seems like guys are just ready for a one night stand hook up type deal, or they are all about frat parties and drinking. And to me, that's not something I'm looking for. I'm looking for someone who will bring out the best in me, someone who will read the Bible with me and help me grow in my relationship with Christ but also will spend occasional Friday nights talking and binge watching Netflix. Right now, I have a lot physically going on that I need someone to help support me with.  I feel like recently, God has just been really taking a hold of my heart and putting back together all the broken pieces while telling me that even though everyone around me seems to be worried about relationships, that it's not what I need to be doing. I can be happy for my friends but also be happy for where God has me at the moment. I'm excited for where the road takes me, I know it will be great because I know who holds my future. And I am PERFECTLY okay with that :) It breaks my heart seeing girls recently settling for someone who doesn't help them grow, someone who doesn't cherish them and they stay with them just because the fear of being lonely and single.

Girls, join me and allowing God to take over our hearts let's grow deeper in Him and let him prepare us to give our hearts to someone who will cherish us and be honored to have us. Stop settling for guys who do the opposite. God has a plan and let's rejoice and be glad it in! :)
I hope this encourages you to not try and find happiness in just any guy but in the One who holds our future in His hands.

lots of love, Steph

Sunny & 75

This past week, my family has been in Gulf Shores, Alabama for our annual beach trip! It was my parents, sister, and my grandparents. My sister brought her best friend and I brought my cousin, Melissa. It was so much fun and very relaxing! We went from Tuesday-Tuesday because of my moms work schedule. we had 6 people staying in a one bedroom condo. My grandparents stayed in their camper at the Gulf State Park. Poor dad, once again he was forced to stay with 5 girls for 7 full days with ONE bathroom. He was a trooper though, as always :)


We did our yearly traditions of during the day we spent our time at the pool and the beach, then we head up one by one to shower and get ready for dinner. We then go out to dinner which follows by a trip to Scoops, our favorite ice-cream place in Gulf Shores. One morning during our visit, we always head to the Track. The Track is a go-kart place that has a huge family favorite, the Woody. It's a huge 3 story wooden track that is AWESOME! This trip was so relazing, I just loved being able to sit at the pool & beach listening to music or reading my book! 

One night we went to Wolf Bay Lodge & I was scared for life. As we were leaving, we out of the peer to take pictures (like every group of white girls.) Near us was a group of about 10-12 people and all these young boys were holding fish. Fish that didn't even look real might I add. We were standing under some great picture scenery, like rope and stakes, taking beautiful pictures then a group of men and boys come up pushing a cart full of fish (again they looked fake) they asked if it's okay if they used the area we were standing in because they needed the "decorations" So we backed away and I really wanted to watch. Well, without ANY warning, the man picks up the fish one by one and swinging them onto the stakes to hang them. The stakes were going into their eye balls and fish eye guts were flying everywhere. I was completely disgusted and ran off crying because I couldn't believe my eyes. The rest of the night I felt so queasy and weak like I was going to get sick. One of the worst experiences of my life. Bleh

I caved and got something I never said I would. A SELFIE STICK. And it's awesome!!!! It is so convenient when you don't have someone to take a picture for you!!

It was such a nice vacation to spend with my family away from work and everything else going on!! After a few days, I really really missed my babies. I couldn't wait to go back to work, I know I sound so crazy! It was a much needed 7 day vacation though!! I was ready to come home though. 

xoxo guys - Steph

Small Step For Organization

Do you remember my post at the beginning of the year talking about my goals for the upcoming year? Yeah? Well, one of my goals was to work on my organization. I have really really been trying to work hard on organizing my life. No one seems to believe me but at work, I try to keep the classroom as clean as possible (I work at a daycare in case you didn't know.) It's really hard in a room full of 2 year olds, but I am constantly walking behind them cleaning up the pile of toys that they just love to dump out for fun, and probably because they know it drives me insane :-) Whenever I bring this up at home, the only response I receive is laughter. Mom doesn't believe me, my nana doesn't believe me, my sister doesn't believe me. But only because that's just never been me. God didn't give me much of the Martha lifestyle, I am more like Mary. With that being said, it is really hard for me to not only organize, but to stay organized.

Since we moved to our new house about two years ago, I went to college and lived in the dorms & apartment. I never really had the chance to "live" in my new house/room. Since I moved back home, I have really been in the process our redoing my room (even though it was never really "done") I will do a room tour when I am done! But anyways, I have been trying to organize everything. 

One thing I have been working on is my makeup stash ;) I have been really big into makeup, like as in a hobby, so I've been organizing it the best I can.

I started out using my bathroom for my makeup and this is what my bathroom looked like 24/7. It was so messy and unorganized. It started to stress me out so I had to do something to change that. 

For now, this is my new makeup area! I'm still getting used to it though. My room is on the backside of the house and there are trees in our backyard so I don't get very much sunlight which is not good for doing your makeup. So if you see me with makeup not blended in, thats why ;)

I fought these grey tins from Target (my holy grail store) for pretty cheap. Heres the link if you would like to check them out. They have a think 3 sizes or maybe 2. I have the small & medium. They are so awesome and they are super cute!! 

In the medium sized one, I have most of my makeup organized. I have three smaller organizer tins inside. I have them organized by foundations, random little things  (eyeliner, eyeshadows, blush, primers), & then lipsticks! 

This new system has made getting ready so much easier! Instead of digging through a makeup bag trying to find everything I need, now I can find it more easily than I could before. Now for my brushes, I just recently bought this awesome organizer from TJ MAXX, it has three sections. Two back ones and then another in the front. This has helped me organize my brushes in categories: face, eyes, and small travel size brushes/beauty blenders. The next things on my list that I want to buy are nail polish organizers and also I want a lipstick holder/organizer. 

So this has been my major project recently in getting my life organized!! I hope that this will maybe inspire you to organize your life too :)

-xoxoxo Steph

past 365 days

As of today, it has been a full year since I started my blog! I can't believe it. 

This blog has gone a lot further than I ever thought was possible. I have so many readers that have told me that they read every blog post and it just blows my mind! Thank you so much for reading and going along with me through the seasons of my life! I couldn't be more blessed.

I know recently I haven't been blogging much, and I'm hoping for that to change soon. Once I start back in school I think I will have more to write about. I'm so thankful that for some reason I decided to make a blog. I love the fact that I can go back whenever I want, years from now, and read about what was going on in my life from 2014 -->

Thank you for being patient as I have not been the best blogger recently, thank you for reading about my illness and being so encouraging that I will make it through the next few years, thank you for being interested about what I'm writing about, even though some parts are very very boring. Thank you for going along with my weird jokes that I add in to my posts, and thank you for just being you :)

I have the best family and friends, thank you for encouraging me through my seasons on life!

-Steph xoxo

Go Tigers Go

I am officially going back to the University of Memphis this fall!! 

I am so excited, there have quite a few obstacles that has gotten in the way but I am officially returning to school in the fall! Words can not describe how excited I am to go back. I want summer to hurry up so I can get back into the swing of things (i know don't rush it right? but who cares) These past few months have been really hard, I felt like the only human interaction I really had were with my two year olds, now don't get me wrong i LOVE them to death (maybe a little too much sometimes) but I am excited to get to be a "normal" college aged student and get to do everything again on campus.

I am taking Development Across Life Span, Literary Heritage, Intro to Theater, and Sociology. I'm really excited for Life Span because that is what I am really interested in!

I'm really happy to be able to share this exciting news with you! Go Tigers (eh too soon, GO VOLS)

Steph

I Can See The Light

Hellooo guys :) I'm back, sorry I've been a little MIA

As you may already know, these past few months I have been in some sort of rut. I moved back home and I'm not in school this semester, and just a few more little things have been going on the past 4-5 months and it has been really tough on me. B U T  I can see the light! Things are starting to lighten up and I'm starting to move ahead with everything. God has spoken so much to me recently. I feel like my life has been on "pause" and I'm finally ready to push "play" and get back into the swing of things! I'm excited to update you on things that have been going on since I pushed "play" :)

A few weekends ago, I worked DNOW at my church. This was the first time that I was working a camp instead of being a camper. I was really really anxious but I just kept praying "God, if this is what you want me to do, please open the doors." Things had to be rearranged, and it all worked out. God worked things out for me to work which was a huge blessing!! I was excited but also so nervous. Thankfully, God put me with the awesome, I mean AWESOME, Kelsey Lancaster. That girl is a walking light for the Lord and I was so blessed to be able to be partnered with her as we took on this new experience together. We had four precious 7th grade girls in our group! It was so much fun! I was so anxious about my health. I was really afraid that something was going to go wrong or that I would start feeling bad. I always am anxious about that kind of thing happening but it's a different kind of panic when I'm the one in charge of other people. I feel like I would be letting other people down if I was to start feeling bad or need to take a break. I ended up doing GREAT! (I will talk more about this later on) For our mission project on Saturday, we went to the Carpenter House. The ideas and plans that they for this house are so exciting, it is going to be soon a place for the homeless to find rest and get the things they need, and I am so glad we got to be apart of that!

As I said before, I did really well the weekend of DNOW. Honestly, I was really really shocked. I was just sort of waiting for my body to get weak and for me to just start feeling terrible just because of being constantly on the go and the lack of sleep. But much to my surprise, that moment never happened! It was a true blessing from God. The following Monday, I went to Dysautonomia doctor and had a monthly ANSAR test done. This test tests on how well my Autonomic Nervous System is working (simply put.) Right when I was called back into the room, the first thing the doctor said was "Stephanie, you look fantastic. How are you feeling? Because you look like you feel so much better." I was already over the moon. I was pumped already to take the test because I was feeling better I was just wondering how to test was going to show how I was feeling. Ended up being the BEST results I have ever received!!!! I'm slowly getting better day by day, not only am I feeling it, but the doctor can see it too!! I have been able to do so much recently, I have constantly on the go doing different things during the day and having late nights then going to work, and I haven't had any moments where my body needs to just can't catch up. God is truly working through me right now and healing me. I can't praise and thank Him enough for what He has been doing through me recently. 

All the glory to Him.

The Lord gives and The Lord takes away, Blessed be the name of the Lord.


Steph 

Digging Into the Duggar's PT 1

Hello :) This post is about my experience meeting Jessa Duggar! (Seewald) This happened about a month ago and I also wrote the post awhile ago I just never finished it. So keep in mind that when I say "On Saturday" It was really about 3-4 Saturday's ago ;)

On Saturday, I had the opportunity to do something that I have been waiting for, for YEARS. Yes years. I have been a fan of the Duggar family and watching their show for around 6-8 years. It has always been a dream of mine to meet the family! I cannot even explain to you how much I love them. One of my talents is naming all the kids in birth order in less than 10 seconds (9.78 to be exact) This coming week will be all about the Digging into The Duggar's. :) Hope you'll stick around

There have been a few instances where the family has come through, or even stopped by, Memphis and I totally missed them and I would be so upset cause I lost my chance. When I heard about Jessa, the newest newlywed Duggar, was going to be at the Southern Women's show, I flipped out. I was so excited and I wasn't going to miss my chance to see Jessa and her husband, Ben! I made plans to go to the SWS that day and I cancelled all of my plans so I could spend as much time that was needed to meet Jessa. I planned on going no matter what, even if I didn't have someone to go with me, I was still going to go alone :) 

My best friend, Sara, said that she would go with me and I was so happy! It meant even more when I found out she wasn't a Duggar fan. And by "wasn't a Duggar fan" I mean she knows about them and likes them but she doesn't watch the show or keep up with the family, or know the kids names (which she is getting better at btw.) We planned to just have a girls weekend all together!

Saturday morning, I woke up quite early because I couldn't wait to get this show on the road. We got up and hurried to get ready for our big day. (after hitting the snooze button for an hour and a half, thanks sara.) I was starting to get very nervous because I don't do good with big crowds. I normally get hot and start to have a panic attack. Like at church, concerts, and whenever I would go to the flea market at the Agricenter I have a had a few panic attacks. I told my brain all morning that I was NOT going to have a panic attack today. I was not going to deal with my anxiety so don't even try me. I WAS going to meet Jessa and my brain was NOT going to trick me and start making me anxious because I was not going to give in today. I packed all of my essentials for any type of situation that I could be in. I brought all of my medicine, a pack of peanut butter crackers in case I got hungry and weak, and also a full bottle of water. I was ready to take on the crowd and the mission to meet Jessa and nothing was going to get in my way. Not today.

Of course, last minute, I thought I should probably buy their book so I can have her sign it.... Why I didn't think about this before I don't know. Anyways, on the way to the Argricenter, we stopped by Target because we figured that they would have it. As we walked in Target with confidence of grabbing the book and going, we soon realized they don't carry Growing Up Duggar...... huge let down Target. I was so bummed. So we headed to the Agricenter in hopes that we could still meet her without the book.

Once we got there, we were right on time but the struggle was trying to find where the fashion stage was. And the annoying part was that NO ONE knew where it was. Even the people working there had no idea where she would be at which was very annoying. Finally after walking around about 298375 times, we found her and Ben. The show/interview had already started and it was packed. We tried so hard to weave through people but we couldn't make it very far, and our guilty conscious was telling us to stop :( I couldn't really hear what they were saying which was so disappointing BUT while we were waiting there was a book stand selling copies of their book!! So of course I bought one! 

After the interview, they announced that Ben and Jessa would be sitting under the tent for autographs and pictures. If you had a book you could get an autograph AND a picture, but if you didn't have the book you could get one or the other. Thankfully the book stand was there since Target had let me down!! Of course we made it to the VERY end of the line... there were about 5 people behind us. We waited for about     2 1/2 hours in line. Sara and I took turns on who stood in line while the other one took a break and sat down where the chairs were from the interview. Between her leg cramps and my POTS/Dysautonmia, we were taking turns left and right! One plus though was I just bought the book so I spent most of my time waiting by reading the book and also trying to plan the perfect conversation to have with Jessa. (We will get to that part in a minute........) 


To me, time was going by pretty fast. I was really anxious about meeting her because I have been known to making things awkward. So that's why I (attempted) planned the perfect conversation out in my head. The line that the had marked off was in a zig zag form, when I made it to a certain part of the line, I was where I could see Jessa and Ben perfectly. I was just waiting for her to look up and be like "omg hey Stephanie!" but no... never happened. When I was next in line, again, I was waiting for my turn and where she would look at me and freak out cause she knew me..... it was so weird because I feel like I really know their family on a personal level. 

Leading up to meeting her, I was REALLY freaking out. Also, Ben wore his glasses because he knows they are my favorite hahah (side note) Anyways, I think in the group around me, I was the only huge duggar fan. No one was freaking out as much as I was and it was kinda awkward and embarrassing. I think it was because we were at the end of the line, all the die hard fans were the ones who probably camped out in line hours before. That's where I slacked off that day..... Ok sorry, back to when I was next in line. I was soooooooo excited and nervous.

PSA: I AM AWARE THAT THIS CONVERSATION THAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ WAS VERY AWKWARD AND WEIRD. IT WAS NOT ONE OF MY BEST MOMENTS. JUST BARE WITH ME AND LAUGH WITH ME.

As the person ahead of me was making her way out of the tent, Jessa turned to look at me and smiled. (again, hoping for her to recognize me. again, I was let down) I walked over to the table and handed her my book. I just awkwardly stood there over her shoulder as she signed my book. I lost all train of thought and my "perfect" conversation that I had planned. The ONLY words I could get out of my mouth were, "Man I bet you're tired" and she said "actually I'm not that tired!!" (STRIKE 1) then I thought "oh.. this is awkward. How about I make it even more weird." so I proceed to say, "Oh wow that's good. I bet you're hand is really hurting". She said " no thankfully it's easier to write with Sharpie instead of pen because it just glides and writes more easily" (STRIKE 2) then I was like ok steph just shut up while you're ahead. But I didn't listen.. the silence was just too awkward. So again, I opened my mouth... "Do you know how much longer till your wedding episode is on TV?" She said "um I think it is actually in 3 weeks! I haven't seen it yet so I'm pretty excited!" then I said something like "oh wow that's awesome!" a few seconds later I said "Thank ya'll soo much for doing this!!" Btw I said this twice. Then we took a picture, and again I said "thank ya'll sooooo much for doing this!!!" Then I walked out of the tent in embarrassment of the small talk I had just awkwardly made. Hahaha but hey it makes for a great story right ;) I am still over the top about meeting Ben ( ;) ) and Jessa!! It is something that I will hopefully never forget! 

-Steph