If you read my last post, you learned about how all my anxiety started. After a few months, things started to lighten up. Doctors were helping my family and me get things back to normal. One thing that we were told was that my mom needed to stop reassuring me. Whenever I start to panic, I will run to my mom for what the doctors said was "reassurance." They told my mom that she needed to stop reassuring me, and to help me realize on my own that everything is okay and I will be okay. Also, since I was becoming best buds with the school nurse, mom called the nurse and told her to put a big note on my file that said "DO NOT LET STEPHANIE CALL ME OR HER FATHER UNLESS SHE HAS A FEVER OR IS THROWING UP!" I was so mad. All the doctors were changing my life style around and I hated change. They were making me deal with all the anxiety by myself and it was too much for me to do alone. I felt so betrayed. My doctor gave us a few different things to do but none of them lasted very long. We tried having one hour a day to where I could talk to my mom about what I was nervous. As you can probably guess, I broke that rule many many times :) I also tried to journal my thoughts and that didn't work either. The thing that I just could never do was pray. Whenever I was anxious and having a panic attack, I never thought to just stop and pray. This is something that I still struggle with and I have to be reminded of to do. Even then it is honestly really hard to do. Handing over everything over to God especially my anxiety is difficult because I am selfish and I want to fix them and want to feel better now. Not on God's timing or anyone else's timing. One of my favorite bible verses is 1 Peter 5:7.
Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7
I feel like this verse was written just for me. I need to cast ALL of my anxiety on Him because He cares for me. He is the God of Comfort and the Prince of Peace.
I still deal with lots of anxiety now. I rarely can go anywhere in public without having a panic attack but I'm learning how to deal with it all still. I have learned that it's not going to go away on its own and I shouldn't be ashamed of it and that I will be okay. I have decided that I am going to major in Psychology. I dream to be famous like Oprah or Dr. Drew ;) I want to have my own private practice and focus on anxiety and depression patients, marriage counseling, or adoption counseling. I have many dreams and ideas in mind that I want to do, so who knows where God will lead me. I would love to help others with anxiety. I think that there would be no better person to talk to than someone who has or is dealing with what you are dealing with. I hope that I can change lives and help others to feel better and to go back to living a normal life. Dealing with anxiety is never easy, it can be life altering but just know if you are dealing with anxiety, you are NEVER alone. More people deal with it than you think.
Thank you for reading!
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