So here was the game plan that we had set for the past few months for how Tuesday was going to go: My mom was going to pick my sister and my cousin, Maggie, from school at 2 o'clock when they got out and were going to pick me up from work and we would head to Nashville.
I had asked off for this day about 4 months in advance but couldn't get the full day off so instead of working 2-6 I was going to go from 8-3. To me, this was alright to work with because it was better than working 2-6 because then I would totally miss the concert. When I asked off for this trip, it was before my doctor told me that I'm not allowed to work over 4 hours. Even though my normal shift was 4 hours, the past 2 weeks before my doctors appointment I had worked 9-6 every day for 2 weeks. With my dysautanomia, this really wore me out and she could tell in my ANSAR test numbers. So she mailed me a letter to give to my boss, so no more long days for me.On Monday when I went into work, I asked my boss if I was still working 8-3. I said "I wanted to make sure about tomorrow," and she said "Oh yeah you're off tomorrow." WHAT. I wish I could of seen what my face looked in that moment. I was so confused and I probably showed it. She said "didn't you originally have 8-3? Well, I figured with everything thats going on with you right I just thought it would be best if I just gave you the whole day off. I'm trying to take care of you!" :) This meant the world to me and also my parents.
So change of plans AGAIN, but this time was good! Around 10:15, mom and I picked up my sister and cousin from school and then we headed to Nashville!! The ride down there was so much fun as we jammed out to some 1D the whole time ;) poor momma. When we got there we sat in the hotel and changed clothes and got ready for the concert. We thought we were doing great on time since we left our hotel, which was 15 mins away from the stadium, around 4:30 and the concert was at 7. Well, of course we got stuck in traffic. We still were going to have to get dinner once we got in Nashville, but plans changed once again. Mom just decided to go ahead and drop us off at the stadium. We got to the stadium probably around 5:30-5:45. We were all stressing out because we had no idea where to go for mom to drop us off and also we had to come up with a place for her to meet us, and the police officers were no help. Finally, we arrived where mom would drop us off and we had to jump out and run because the police officer was whistling and pointing for her to hurry and go. We jumped out at Gate 10 and had no idea where we were. Our tickets told us Gate 1 and section 112. When we walked into the stadium, it was so crowded. There were girls everywhere. Moms were yelling at their daughters to "come on," girls were getting lost yelling for their friends, workers were yelling "ice cold water, no wait, get your ice cold water!!" It was so hectic. We stood in line to get some ice cold water and some nachos. Then we were ready to go find out seats!! After weaving in and out of people, we finally found Section 112. Once, we got situated in our seats after we were in awe about how great our seats were it started to get really really hot. Without even sitting there for 10 minutes, my chair was covered in sweat. The side that the sun was shining right down on was our side. Just our luck. I started to get really really anxious. I never do good in heat because I'm always scared I'm going to pass out. I ended up spending over $20 on water just for myself. That was 4 bottles of water and I also finished everyone else's water too...
Unfortunately I was not on an end seat. The poor lady sitting alone on the end seat probably hated me. I went to the bathroom about 12 times the whole time we were there. I know I know thats crazy..I also ended up having some of the worst panic attacks that I have ever had. Usually, when I get anxious I will leave wherever I'm at, but I couldn't leave the concert. I was stuck there and had to deal with my anxiety all alone. I ended up taking a crumb of my "calm down pill" to ease off some of the nerves. I really hesitant taking this pill because it calms me down so much that I feel "Bleh" I kinda feel like I'm just there. I don't know how to explain it, but I didn't want to feel this at the concert and not have fun. Of course, my anxiety felt like it was getting too bad to handle so I ended up taking my crumb. I knew all of this was going to happen.. I knew that I was going to have panic attacks just because I don't do good with heat and crowds. This may be part of the reason why I had them, because it was all subconscious. After about an hour, and halfway into 5 Seconds of Summer's performance, my anxiety went down but of course I felt so mellow. As you can tell, I didn't really get to enjoy the concert as much as I had hoped too.. I was counting down till the concert would be over, I think that is what bothered me the most about the concert, I was waiting and wishing for the concert to be over.. the One Direction concert. I normally would cry when it was over and cry during the whole thing. But that just didn't happen, I wasn't myself. It really upset me knowing that this is where my anxiety has gone. It's affecting my daily life and things that I usually enjoy.
No comments:
Post a Comment